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Joke of the Day
"Bigamy is having one wife too many. So is monogamy."
Next Joke
"Like it or not... That's how Facebook works."
"Headed to a funeral. #yolo"
"Imagine you know a guy named Gary, & Gary calls his car the Garymobile & insists that you do, too. What I'm saying is Batman is a douche"
"I went into a bar and ordered a Bin Laden Two shots and splash of water."
"wife: [walks in door] so whats the big news? -the baby walked! wife: OMG where is he? -i sent him to the store for an ice cream cake"
"'I'm sure it's just water,' I mumble as I sit down on the gas station toilet."
"You know that one relative that is annoying AF and no one in the family can tolerate? Yeah, she's staying at my house this week."
"Why are TVs attracted to people? Because people turn them on"
"Tombstone: Here lies Houdini 2nd Tombstone: Now I'm over here"