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Joke of the Day
"Girl: ""Hey, whats up?"" Boy: ""If I tell you, will you sit on it?"" "
Next Joke
"The painters I just got my house painted, and they gave me a bill that said $0. I asked them, ""Why aren't you charging me for the paint?"" They said, ""Don't worry about it, it's on the house."""
"What's the first thing a woman does after leaving spousal abuse therapy? The dishes, if she knows what's good for her!"
"Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be bagels!"
"Got pulled over tonight. Cop asked if I had any weapons. I showed him my guns. He laughed."
"TIFU by getting meatball marinara instead of steak and cheese... Oops, wrong sub"
"I keep waiting for a musical montage to start so I can do something awesome."
"""Wow there are a lot of non-brown people in Gaza."" - anyone tuning into Ferguson coverage late"
"Shout out to my neighbors for the 2:00 am fireworks; I hope you enjoyed my 7:00 am weed whacking."
"So how about the BBC sacking Jeremy Clarkson ? I think the whole thing is a huge miss-steak."