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Joke of the Day

"Your beer is like having sex in a canoe and living on a pacific island surrounded by rising sealevels... It`s too fucking close to water!"

"How do you get away with murder? Become a cop first."

"What does the south call friends with benefits? Cousins....."

"What do you call an elephant and a rhino mixed? Asked my buddy ""What would you call an elephant and a rhino mixed?"". He looks at me and says ""Shit man, Helliphino""."

"I once went five years without having sex then I turned six and my uncle raped me"

"Did you know Princess Di had dandruff? Yeah, they found her head and shoulders in the dashboard."

"Her: Show me your pics Me: Ok *blackberry restarts* *waiting* *gets married* *have kids* Son: Dad, your phone finished restarting *dies*"

"My Korean friend died yesterday... So Yung..."

"Why does a jew watch pornography backwards? He wants to see the prostitute give back money."

"What's a thimble? By definithion, thomething that represenths or thtands for thomething elth. Thymbolithm, y'know."