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Joke of the Day

"My 11 now wants to borrow clothes from my closet. Either she has great taste in clothing at an early age...or I dress like a tween."

"Why do Asian woman have small breasts? Because her parents accept nothing less than an A."

"What does Shakespeare say when he is angry with his dog? Out, out, damned Spot!"

"Why would someone in jail want to catch the measles? So he could break out."

"What is the difference between a cat and a comma? A cat has its claws at the end of its paws and a comma is the pause at the end of a clause."

"What does amnesia mean? Someone told me but I forgot."

"What did the proctologist say to the pirate? Show me your booty."

"An American's ""inside voice"" is the rest of the world's ""outside voice""."

"*sits* This is nice. *stands* This is also pretty cool. *lays down* Oh okay this is my favorite."

"A nurse comes in and tells a doc... ...""there's a man in the waiting room that thinks he's invisible. What should I tell him?"" Doc says, ""Tell him I can't see him today."""