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Joke of the Day

"Damn girl, are you sandpaper? Because I want you to rub my wood."

"I sincerely hope that when I get older my children don't put me in a home or on a stage at a political convention."

"Why did Adele cross the road? So she could say hello from the other side (If this has already been posted I might cry I thought I made this all up on my own haha)"

"I was having sex with a hot girl yesterday and she kept yelling someone else's name. Do you know anybody by the name of ""rape""?"

"If a rich man dies from a drug overdose, the headline should read ""Pills bury dough boy"" Credit to my friend Chris"

"Why is mustard good to have in case of an emergency? It's always prepared."

"A feminist and a reddit admin walk into a bar... Just kidding, they couldn't fit through the door."

"If God really made Eve from Adam's rib bone. Then women are really men and we're all gay. Discuss."

"Did ya hear that the price of coal is so high Santa can't afford to give it away anymore? All of the bad kids are stuck trying to steal oil."

"pretending this is a healthy protein shake even though it's just 15 pancakes I threw into a blender"