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Joke of the Day

"The first Hobbit movie was half the book. The second, about a quarter. In the sixth instalment, the group has a 3 hour breakfast and a nap."

"What's dumber than a box of rocks The hippie that carries them around the country."

"Tim Cook announces iPhone charger cord to be long enough to reach a socket, Apple stock price quadruples."

"My talking dog gave me a stick the other day and told me he found it 600 miles away. That's a bit far-fetched."

"How many hippies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Hippies don't screw in light bulbs, they screw in dirty sleeping bags."

"Latvian Joke One Latvian comes to other Latvian. First say ""is that potato? Will buy."" Second Latvian say ""No, is wife."" Both men sad."

"A scuba diver brings a wetsuit to a dry cleaner..."

"Every time God closes a door, he opens a window, thereby wasting electricity on air conditioning, causing climate change and dooming us all."

"How do you unpoopify water? Boil the shit out of it."

"What's the difference between a Hummer and a cactus? A cactus has all the pricks on the outside."