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Joke of the Day

"A scuba diver brings a wetsuit to a dry cleaner..."

"me: how was your camping trip 5 y/o: good me: what'd you guys do 5 y/o: camped"

"Last night I let my boyfriend indulge his ""scat"" fantasy... <sigh> I'm glad I got that off my chest."

"A man only wearing saran wrap pants... Walks into his doctors office. The doctor says: ""Well, I can clearly see your nuts."""

"Two sausages are in a frying pan. One says, ""Geez, it's hot in here isn't it?""And the other one says, ""Aaaaaah! A talking sausage!"""

"My neighbor told me to close the curtains when I'm naked, but then I don't get that cool sensation of pressing up against the window glass"

"Q: What did the hurricane say to the other hurricane? A: I have my eye on you."

"Why did the spy cross the border? Because he never really was on your side."

"*weighs self* ""Shit"" *takes clothes off* ""GODDAMMIT"" *takes tampon out*"

"There are two things I hate in every politician: their face."