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Joke of the Day

"The band Europe is rereleasing their greatest hits on records. It's the vinyl countdown."

"When is a fetus viable? To a Christian, it's the moment of conception. To a Jew, it's when he graduates from medical school. -my mom heard this on the radio"

"Restaurants drastically overestimate how much I care about which wood they smoke my bacon over."

"I'm not racist Because racism is a crime. And crime is for black people."

"Girls are so confusing She said ""don't stop"" and now I'm in jail."

"How did the gay wizard dissappear? He went with a poof!"

"How did you know I was a member of Al Qaida? Was it my knees? Do I have terrorist's knees? Oh, the bomb. Not the knees then? That's good."

"An ISIS recruit asks his wife.. ""Let's try 69 tonight"" Wife says, ""You should rather try 72"". She then blows him up."

"Woo! Let's get this weekend started! *Starts doing laundry*"

"What is the difference between a feminist and a hockey player? A hockey player showers after 3 periods."