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Joke of the Day
"How do you say Constipated in German? Farfrompoopin"
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"My Facebook friends fall into 3 categories: vaguely remember, don't remember at all, or never want to speak to for the rest of my life."
"Who's the poorest person in West Virginia? The Tooth Fairy."
"*pounding on her chest* DON'T DIE ON ME KAREN! *pounds harder* (sobbing) BREATHE DAMMIT! CPR instructor: Ok, so that was wrong."
"Did anyone see Apple's new device targeted for women consumers? Its called the MaxiPad"
"What's black, wears a bandana and ends the world? Tupacalypse. (thanks to my buddy Mike)"
"How do you know adam and eve weren't black ? Ever try to take a rib from a nigger ?"
"Sorta miss my kid today. Guess it's true what they say about not knowing what you've got until you've sold it to a gypsy."
"I watched a documentary about the lives of beavers last night... It was the best dam movie I've ever seen."
"My doctor diagnosed me as a delusional. Edit: Thanks for my first ever Reddit gold, stranger!"