20134

Joke of the Day

"Did anyone see Apple's new device targeted for women consumers? Its called the MaxiPad"

"I asked a terrorist how his day was going... He said it was great, his son died in a car bombing. The only problem? His son borrowed his car."

"Me: Can you bring me a burrito Him: you want me to come over? Me: no. I want a burrito to come over."

"""911, what's your emerg-"" ""The women at work have synced their uteri and it's Hell"" ""Sir uteri is not plural for ute-"" ""TAMPI EVERYWHERE"""

"I always said I'd never chase after a man, but the older I get, I seriously consider power-walking after one."

"What's the main difference between light and hard? I can go to sleep with a light on"

"A man walks into a psychiatrist's office wearing no clothes but covered head to toe in saran wrap The psychiatrist says ""I can clearly see your nuts"""

"A black family wins a free cruise 'Oh hell no. We ain't falling for that again'"

"What does the Philosophy major say a year after he graduates? ""Would you like fries with that?"""

"Why are Aluminum Phosphate ions so bad at math? They have trouble forming solutions."