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Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between pick and choose? To pick is to make a selection... And choose are what Cubans wear on their feet."

"My new year's resolution is... ...running at 1680 x 1050"

"I was on TV last night When I'm drunk, I sleep anywhere."

"I dig, you dig, we dig, he dig, she dig, they dig. Its not a beautiful poem, but its very deep."

"Him: why doesn't anyone want me? Me: I want you. Him: why doesn't anyone else want me?"

"What did the Pilipino orphan boy say to the linguist who wanted to adopt him? I'll tagalog!"

"How do you know if someone has a Samsung phone without asking? Don't worry, they've already told you the superior qualities it has over all the other smart phones by this time."

"Why can't Helen Keller drive? because she's dead"

"7: ""Mama, if someone licked the treadmill, would that someone get sick?"" Me: ""Are you the someone?"" 7: ""Maybe"" Holy hell."

"So many rainbows so little rain. Please send rain, sincerely California."