201331

Joke of the Day

"What did the Pilipino orphan boy say to the linguist who wanted to adopt him? I'll tagalog!"

"Got trapped in a bidding war for a house with a lengthy corridor I'm in it for the long hall"

"SIRI: Brian, what goes ""blah blah blah, I don't know anything, please help me""? ME: Uhh SIRI: It's you. That's what you sound like."

"My wife asked me to get the house ready as her friend is sleeping here tonight so as an optimist our bed now has 3 pillows."

"What is a Skywalker's preferred temperature? Lukewarm. I'll show myself out."

"Sex on tv can't hurt unless you fall off."

"Where do lobsters buy their work clothes? Homardware."

"We get it, painters: you love naked women and bowls of fruit."

"What prize did the dead body receive? Atrophy"

"*jumps from plane* *forgets parachute* *grabs onto flying squirrel* *lives to tell the tale*"