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Joke of the Day

"What do Ted Cruz and Donald Trump's dad have in common? They both waited too long to pull out."

"Two peanuts were walking down the road... One was assaulted"

"I don't understand why people are in awe when I tell them my grandfather survived Auschwitz. Most of the other German officers did too!"

"Nascar Rain I think if NASCAR would quit being sponsored by the movie Noah we wouldn't have so much rain on race day :)"

"What's white, black, and red all over? A race war."

"Breaking News: Radio Shack is closing 1,100 stores nationwide. Even Breakier News: I can't believe there's 1,100 Radio Shack's."

"Me: Who ate all the cookies? 5-year-old: Ninjas. Me: I didn't see them. 5-year-old: No one ever does. Checkmate."

"When a couple breaks up never believe her story Why? Because only history is reliable."

"I really love sarcasm. It's like punching people in the face but with words."

"How does a cat tell time?? In meowers"