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Joke of the Day

"What is the definition of diplomacy? The ability to tell a person to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip."

"Yesterday I fell, landed on my back, and could not roll over and get up. At the time I was wearing a Turtleneck Sweater."

"The Sorting Hat seems like bad hygienic practice."

"How do you kill a redneck? Wait until he's fucking his sister, then cut the brakes on his house."

"What do you do with a camel that won't move ...Camel tow it"

"What rabbit wears on his back while flying? Eagle"

"My fridge exploded. . . And there are pieces of de-brie everywhere."

"I have nothing in common with people who eat 1 Pringle at a time instead of frantically shoving 20 in their mouth like it's a wood chipper ."

"So I was in bed with this woman and she said, ""Not in the ass."" I said, ""Hey, it's my thumb, it's my ass. If you don't like it, go in the other room."" Garry Shandling"

"Why is dog man's best friend? They keep the mailman away from his wife"