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Joke of the Day

"Weed doesn't make you stupid, you were stupid before you smoked the weed."

"Life is a lot like a game of golf... Too many strokes and you loose."

"I wont play GI Joes with my nephew until he learns to play it right. He's 4 years old, he should know better than to drag Vader into this."

"No thanks, alcohol free mouthwash, my life is depressing enough."

"My 4yo brought his Woody doll to the store and was swinging it around. I told him loudly to stop hitting people with his Woody. Parenting."

"How do you tell the sex of an ant? Put it in a bucket of water. If it sinks you have a girl ant but if it floats you have a buoyant."

"The Chinese emperor went out on a guys night. It was the man-date of heaven."

"Killing someone with kindness sounds like a lot of work to me."

"Did you hear about the blonde that tried to walk around the world? She drowned."

"How many tickles does it take to make an octupus laugh? Ten tickles."