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Joke of the Day

"What do you do when you lose your Kia car? You go Soul-searching."

"The recommended age to have a Ouija Board is 8+ years old So you have to be 21 years old to drink, and 8 to summon the devil"

"People who live in glass houses Should pull the blinds before removing their trousers."

"What do you call a drill on the North Pole that just wants to get to know people? An icebreaker"

"Quick question: can I breastfeed if I've had implants?"

"I keep getting calls telling me that I have outstanding bills... ...and while I appreciate the compliment, they're really nothing special."

"I recommend all Apple users turn off the iCloud function on their devices... not only are you at risk of your nude photos leaking, but now you're at risk of getting the new U2 album too."

"""Buttocks! Sexy sexy buttocks! Introduce me to your buttocks! My name is Tony!"" - from my new song, ""Dusk in Vienna"""

"[getting a checkup] DOCTOR: On average, how much alcohol do you drink in a day? ME: *sweating* NO ONE SAID THERE WOULD BE ANY MATH"

"Frankly auto correct,I'm getting tired of your shirt."