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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes I lie awake at night wondering where the word etymology came from..."

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"Next time I see a dead deer on the side of the road, I'm gonna leave and come back dressed as Santa with a sign that says ""Help, need ride!"
"Why do they make Raisin Bran commercials? For raisin bran awareness."
"Female Viagra. Niagara."
"What is the difference between peanut butter and a blonde? The blonde is easier to spread!"
"Nerdiest joke I know. I'd tell you a joke about UDP packets, but I'm not sure you'd get it."
"Premiering 2017. They never saw him coming. Sean Penn is The Retard Pope"
"When someone asks me, ""Is this seat saved?"" I like to say ""No, but we're still praying for it"" and I laugh because chairs are like, dead."
"What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic? About halfway."
"What do you call a wizard who loves being on busy trams? Harry Frotteur"