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Joke of the Day
"PRANK: ask someone what's on their shirt and when they look down give them a perm"
Next Joke
"My wife has a logic fetish... She's always coming to conclusions."
"I had a one night stand with a girl who liked having pitchers of urine dumped on her head. It was a piss poor experience"
"""tell... my wife... i loved her..."" carl dies. NOO! U LOVED HER WHAT?! *shakes body* U LOVED HER... TITYS? HER CAT? *slaps face* PLS WAKE UP"
"Two things you can always be certain about when it comes to women: 1) They're always cold. 2) It's somehow your fault."
"""Come with me if you want to live"" - Great movie line, bad thing to say during sex"
"When someone says ""I love you infinity plus one"" I immediately love them less because of their failure to grasp basic mathematical concepts."
"Do you know how Rihanna can tell when Chris has been cheating on her? He has someone else's lipstick on his knuckles."
"Where does a pencil sharpener keep its money? In a shavings account."
"Walk into any flower shop and ask to see the chlamydias. That never gets old."