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Joke of the Day

"I've got trouble with the wife again - she came into the bar looking for me and I asked for her number."

"If you open Pandora's Box you better at least buy her dinner."

"When Lil John goes to a hotel and they ask him if he wants turn down service, does he refuse? That's all."

"I hate it when I'm at someone's party and they keep asking stupid questions like... ""Who are you?"" and ""Is that a gun?"""

"Why was the Energizer Bunny jailed? On charges of battery."

"Anybody who says they could never conceive of killing another human being just needs to meet more people."

"Whenever someone asks how i'm doing & walks away before i answer..I write ""GREAT"" on the side of thier car with my keys!"

"Why should you always take two Mormon's fishing? Cause if you take one, he'll drink all your beer"

"When you're checking for murderers in your house, don't just yell out ""hello!"" that gives them the upper hand. Yell, ""YOU AINT SHIT!"""

"My uncle told me he only had three days left to live. So to cheer him up I stabbed him in the jugular vein... &nbsp; He didn't get it."