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Joke of the Day

"When Lil John goes to a hotel and they ask him if he wants turn down service, does he refuse? That's all."

"Q: What did the leprotic john say to the hooker? A: Keep the tip."

"Men need to stop staring and yelling at me when I wear yoga pants. I'm not doing it for you. I'm doing it for me, because it's comfortable... Who cares if you can see my balls?"

"You know which singer really cut the mustard? Celine Dijon"

"How do you compliment a girl with a cold sore? You tell her that her smile is contagious."

"My phone died, so I was forced to ""print"" a physical copy of my boarding pass, just like The Wright Brothers used to in the olden days"

"What do my toaster and I have in common? We both like to be in the same bathtub at the same time."

"I hate when people talk to me while I'm using the restroom, the other day, this guy was all like ""Sir this is a display model at Home Depot"""

"Stops rape every time Consent"

"if a bee sting u, u get a lil pain but the bee dies so who really wins? ""lol im OWNING all these bees"" i say as i put my face in the beehive"