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Joke of the Day

"Party Questions by age 1-12: Will there be a Bouncy House? 17-20: Will there be alcohol? 22-27: Theres no kids right? 30+ Who's bday is it?"

"Me: Hey, can I have an Iphone 7 please? Apple guy: Possibly... What's your name? Me: Jack Apple guy: Sorry, no jacks."

"What did the redneck say after his girlfriend swallowed? You gots the purdiest tooth I ever comed across, Sis."

"Why did the railroad thief get caught? He forgot to cover his tracks! im^dead^inside"

"I have to pee every hour, on the hour. ...it's like cockwork"

"So, a cheerleader walks into a Starbucks... and shouts, ""gimme a tea!"""

"What did one rock pool say to the other rock pool? Show me your mussels."

"Why don't cannibals like to eat Carl Lewis? He gives them runs!"

"What does an author have after they get abdominal surgery? A semi-colon"

"[my first cutaway on The Bachelorette] I can eat more roses than any of these guys"