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Joke of the Day

"What an Idea..!!! My laboratory assistant has invented a device that allows you to steal other people's ideas and then permanently delete them from the subject's memory. Why didn't I think of that?"

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"What's the difference between a reindeer and a caribou? Caribou can't fly."
"How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his whole family"
"On behalf of all of my black followers, I'd like to remind you all to fuck the police today."
"What's the funniest joke that doesn't reference itself? Clearly not this one!"
"What's not there when you get into an argument, but there when you lose the argument? The door."
"I mean, NHL teams have father-son road trips all the time I don't think they're as common in the NBA though..."
"[1st date] HER: do you like charades? MIME: [thumbs up] HER: well? MIME: [nodding 'yes'] HER: hello? MIME: [shooting self with finger gun]"
"I have a ton of leftover horse. It turns out I'm not as hungry as I thought I was."
"What do you call an Arabic rapper? Vanilla Isis"