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Joke of the Day

"I bet jellyfish are sad that there are no peanut butter fish. *I'm not even high."

"What do you throw a drowning guitarist? His amp."

"Did you know Canada was originally going to be called ""CND""? When they were asked to spell it, they spelled it: C-eh. N-eh. D-eh."

"Why did Shakespeare break up with his girlfriend? Prose before hoes."

"An asian man goes to the eye doctor... The doctor says to him ""I know why you're not seeing so well, you have a cataract"" The asian man says ""No, I have a Rincoln Contirental"""

"I successfully said ""Worcestershire sauce"" today!"

"Good news! Doctor: I have a really good news for you Mrs Johnson Woman: Well, my name is Ms Johnson Doctor: In that case, I have a really bad news for you Ms Johnson!"

"I want to surprise my boyfriend by sending him a sexy pic while he's at work, but I can't decide what outfit to put on the cat."

"Can you describe the man who did this *me crying* ""he was a meanie head"" No describe his face, sir *clenches fist* ""He had a stupid face"""

"""I've got 99 problems and I'm not dealing with any of them."" (Lay-Z)"