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Joke of the Day

"Hey, I fucked your mom last night. *Sigh* I know dad..."

"Pros are good and cons are bad, so... What's the opposite of constitution?"

"[during lull in conversation] maybe people who say the earth is flat are thinking of maps"

"2 antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The Ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent."

"The secret to sustaining a happy marriage is to keep the mystery alive. So tonight I decided to clean something unexpectedly."

"*cat lays on my leg* *I remain perfectly still for hours, so she won't leave* *I move half an inch* *cat buys bus-ticket for next town over*"

"What's the greatest symbol of inequality? ="

"What did Anne Frank say when she threw a ball at the water fowl's head? Duck!"

"If Jesus invested $1 dollar when He was alive, it would have grown into $100 trillion dollars today. But that's the thing about Jesus, He didn't invest, He saved."

"Learning to write jokes is like when you first start having sex... You think it's easy and it's gonna make people happy but you end up just leaving people feeling confused and disappointed"