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Joke of the Day

"My Mom asked me to help her sign up to Twitter so I did and she's really enjoying Google Plus."

"Which actor is a dog's favorite? Bark Ruffaro"

"The sexts are coming from inside the house!"

"When a woman tels you it's five minutes, then it's five minutes. Don't need to ask her every quarter of an hour."

"TIL That there was a German warship during WW2 that accidentally sunk 34 friendly submarines. Edit:Whoops, wrong sub."

"Q: What do you call a country bumpkin from Michigan's Upper Peninsula? A: A hick-UP"

"So, a thought crossed your mind? Must have been a long and lonely journey."

"it might be a handjob for her... but it's a career for me."

"It's strange isn't it, you stand in a library and go ""Aaaaaargh"" and everyone stares at you. Do the same thing on an aeroplane and everyone joins in."

"My 10 y/o daughter made this joke up on the way to school... What do you get when you cross Hitler with a fish? A-dolphin!"