35002

Joke of the Day

"I feel bad for all of the couples who got married in Vegas last week But at least their love will burn with a firey passion..."

"French scientists announced that they can finally successfully clone a rat! Thank goodness! This will solve the huge rat shortage."

"I think they need to come out with an R rated Toy Story where the mom's sex toys all come to life too. The theme song should still be ""You got a friend in me""."

"Women complain about men using them only for sex as if sex is a bad thing. Sex is awesome. Start complaining when he starts using you for cooking, laundry and baby sitting while he is out having fun."

"What kind of melons always have big weddings? Cantaloupe."

"NCAA Hockey needs to re-name brackets. How is Alaska in the NE? They can see Russia."

"Why didn't the doctor use Twitter to tell the patient that he had a deadly disease? Because the condition was untweetable."

"Whosoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office is in big trouble... You have my Word."

"What's the difference between a crab with boobs and a bus filled with old people? One is a busty crustacean and the other is a crusty bus station."

"What separates the men from the boys is knowing that women love it when they show off their big throbbing manners and intelligence."