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Joke of the Day

"Putin is really messing with Obama over this Ukraine thing. The last time a Russian beat a black guy this bad Apollo Creed died."

"My love for you is like diarrhea I just can't hold it in"

"What do you call the Asian-Mexican master race from outer space? Illegal Aryans"

"I opened a company selling land mines that look like prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof."

"What's the most common Jewish name? 17038"

"What did water say when it found out hydrogen is a diatomic? H2? Oh!"

"Q: Why are Republicans always so strung up about 9/11? A: Elephants never forget."

"people get sad when a bird flys into a window but when i do it its a big hassle"

"If a white girl goes to starbucks and doesn't post a picture on instagram, did she really go to starbucks at all?"

"How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Depends on how many cops planted it there"