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Joke of the Day

"[Dirty] Some more dirt was mysteriously added to my garden last night... The plot thickens"

"Can February March? No. But April May. yep."

"The orgy I hosted last night was a real letdown. Nobody came."

"This house is Not going to clean itself. Apparently, I'm not either."

"Doctor doctor give me the news I've got a bad case of lov- oh what's that? It's AIDS? Well that just doesn't rhyme at all"

"""We've traced the call. It's coming from INSIDE THE HORSE!"" -Trojan 911 dispatcher"

"Doctor: And did you drink your medicine after your bath Mrs Soap? Mrs Soap: No doctor. By the time I'd drunk the bath there wasn't room for medicine."

"CW: It's gonna get cold! Me: You're gonna die. CW: Excuse me? Me: Sorry, I thought we were pointing out the obvious."

"I like to intentionally barge into guys wearing camo and then look around bewildered like I have no idea what I just ran into."

"Robert Downey Jr. went on a trip to the Virgin Islands Now it's just called "" The Islands."""