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Joke of the Day

"I tried to get team shirts for a sailing camp I'm going on But I just couldn't get the idea to stay afloat"

"Kid: Are you the babysitter? Sting: Yes. Every breath you take. Every step you take. I'll be watching you. It'll be fun! Kid: *horrified*"

"My dog is called cigarette as he's got no legs Every evening I take him for a drag"

"My girlfriend is a porn star.. she is going to be *so* pissed when she finds out."

"I just realized... I've been on reddit ALL FUCKING YEAR!"

"So Microsoft bought skype for millions of dollars Idiots didn't know skype's free."

"What did one tooth say to the other? Get your cap on the dentist is taking us out tonight."

"I was at an airport recently and there was a aircraft that was pure white. Looked pretty plane to me."

"Three men walk into a bar... One ducks."

"Accidentally used the elephant emoji so thanks, Apple, for the next five hours of fighting"