34825

Joke of the Day

"A priest, a rabbi, a man with a monkey, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all walk into a bar... The bartender says ""What is this, some kind of joke?"""

"When singers at concerts hold out the mic for the audience to sing, it's like what am i, your maid"

"truth is, nobody can parkour better than squirrels.. nobody"

"It must be almost impossible for chalk-outline guys not to turn victims' hands into turkeys this time of year."

"I have two tickets to the Euro's final.. problem is it's on the same day as my wedding... So if anyones interested it's at St.Peters church in Brighton and her name is Sarah."

"How much cash could the cash cab cache if the cash cab could cache cab?"

"Humans are so stupid! This is why aliens probe us. They think our brains are up our butts."

"absolutely disgusting that we as a society are still okay with people making hats out of cowboys"

"A ponytail so tight I look 5 years younger and everyone thinks I've been smiling all day."

"Why are elephants wiser than chickens ? Have you ever heard of Kentucky Fried Elephant ?!"