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Joke of the Day

"*runs in place* *cracks knuckles* *stretches neck* *takes a deep breath* *heads toward buffet*"

"Apparently you can't just drop your ex off at the morgue just cause they are dead to you."

"I saw Santa Claus having sex with my mom. To get him back, I poisoned his cookies. Some how the bastard found out and killed my dad."

"Why did you bring your cat to school? Teacher: Why did you bring your cat to school? Student: My dad said he was going to eat mom's pussy."

"What's the difference between a quid and a pound? I can't quid my dick into your mom."

"What do you call a Mexican garden hose in Canada? Joseh"

"Just once, I'd like to wake my girlfriend up with up with oral sex... ...but she never sleeps with her mouth open."

"*incoming text* ""hey bud can I crash at ur place"" Sure come on over *sound of approaching airplane*"

"I went to South America and bought some frozen peppers. Chile's chilly chilis"

"""Here's your cup of Joe"" - Joe at the sperm bank"