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Joke of the Day

"The dominating wife A woman at an optician's shop: I am returning the glasses I bought for my husband. He is still not seeing things my way!"

"The doctor said to the patient We had to remove a part of your anus Patient- will I be any different? Doctor-Just less of an asshole Edit 1- Changed rectum to anus, credit u/RigorMortis76"

"jokes what do you call a bunch of people whove been in horrible accidents in a swimming pool vegatable soup"

"What do you call a rooster from China? Caucasian"

"The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she can't stand years later."

"Chopped beef and pea soup What's the difference between chopped beef and pea soup? Everyone can chop beef, but not everyone can pea soup!"

"If I had a dollar for every maths exam I failed I'd have about $6.50 right now"

"How many Protestants does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They live in eternal darkness."

"A condom and a coffin. Both are designed for stiffs. The difference is one is for coming and the other for going"

"Let's all just take a moment to appreciate the dedicated men and women of this great nation who sacrifice their evenings to deliver pizzas."