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Joke of the Day

"Boss: Staff meeting at 3:00. Me: I can't come, I'm allergic. Boss: But we're not serving food. Me: ... yeah now I really can't come."

"At the bus stop ""Wow, the boy over there is ugly."" - ""That's my Son!"" - ""Oh sorry, I did not know that you are the father"" - **""I am his mother!""**"

"Salad tastes pretty good once you add some Nutella and throw away the salad."

"late night science fact: if u laid out your veins from end to end u would die"

"I wanted to upload the Mexico-Chile game to PornHub... ... but PornHub said they don't accept rape."

"When you're single expiration dates are more of a suggestion."

"Why do trees seem suspicious on sunny days? I dunno, they just seem a bit shady."

"Q: What kind of wood doesn't float? A: Natalie Wood"

"I always thought I was stupid... Then I read the commentary."

"Why don't tennis players ever get married? Because love means nothing to them."