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Joke of the Day

"A man goes to a house of ill repute on his hundredth birthday He tells the madam, ""I'd like a woman."" ""Forget it old man, you've had it."" ""How much do I owe you?"""

Next Joke
 
"if you can cow boy lasso something inside a store and pull it outside to where you are you get it for free"
"What did one ISIS member say to another? ""IED mubarak.."""
"I painted my computer black now it doesn't work I painted it white to make it work again now the whole system is corrupt - daddypig-ncsu"
"Lets not kid ourselves, if the zombie apocalypse broke out, there are a couple people we would swear were zombies so we could shoot them"
"What does a nosey pepper do? Gets jalapeno business."
"Peanut butter and jelly are so in love with each other that all they do is lay around in bread all day."
"Eye height that know won nose how two spell. Eye height it sew much it makes me blew. It snot fare."
"[Me narrating a documentary on guerrilla warfare] And here's more footage of people, but I'm sure apes will be in this film any minute now.."
"Feeling pretty tough lately and thinking about joining a gang. Any of you guys need an accountant?"