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Joke of the Day

"Lets not kid ourselves, if the zombie apocalypse broke out, there are a couple people we would swear were zombies so we could shoot them"

"Did you hear about the Montana moron who went looking for a gas leak with a safety match?"

"Ants Dancing ? Q: Why did the ants dance on the jam jar? A: The lid said, ""Twist to open."""

"So, on July 4th, one of the hottest days of the year, we're all going to sit outside of our air-conditioned homes and cook over a fire?"

"Why should you never go drinking if you wear a monocle? Because then you'd be a barnacle."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Cosi ! Cosi who ? Cosi has to !"

"How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?"

"He asked what my favorite position was... I said CEO"

"You know what they say about big hands... Big clock."

"We were gonna give you money but thought you might prefer the limited buying power of a gift card. Don't spend it all in one place! lol jk"