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Joke of the Day

"They say you get closer to God when you die.. because you stop existing"

"I quit my job as a prostitute because nobody gave a fuck."

"Why did black people pick so much cotton? Because we told them to."

"My buddies said I should sign up for a Golf Tournament I told them no, I always lose, Then they said it was for crippled children. I thought, well damn, maybe I could win this then."

"Purse dogs... I've heard they're pretty clutch."

"Are you from the 316? Because you're an stone cold stunner. Edit: Stone not ice Thanks /u/cvillemade"

"I sneezed real hard, and while I did not break any bones, I did sustain some tissue damage."

"What's worse than ants in your pants? Uncles."

"Chuck Norris caught all pokemons. With nokia 3310."

"You know what really grinds my gears? Not pushing my clutch pedal down far enough"