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Joke of the Day

"If you don't have any feelings watching a kid cry, most likely it's your kid."

"It is said the population of sheep in New Zealand is 60 Million. How did they stay awake to figure THAT one out?"

"What do you get when you cross a joke and a rhetorical question? ..."

"What is the difference between a Mercedes and a Lexus? Princess Diana wouldn't be caught dead in a Lexus..."

"[speed dating] HER: So what do you- ME: How fast can you order a pizza? HER: I don't- ME: *hits buzzer* NEXT"

"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself...& murderous clowns, & ISIS, & one of these two getting elected President after Halloween."

"Thinking about quitting my job to pursue my dream of not working."

"What turns a fruit into a vegetable? AIDS."

"I remember 9 months before I was born, I went to a party with dad and left with mom."

"The world's shortest joke. Pakistani government."