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Joke of the Day

"If you don't have any feelings watching a kid cry, most likely it's your kid."

"'Your legs, your thighs, they got me hypnotized' ~me talking to my KFC"

"Scientists have a new working theory on what happened before the Big Bang. Your mom put an ad on Craigslist."

"Maybe teenagers just aren't strong enough yet to remove the sticker from their hat"

"What do you call someone who won't get off your lawn? A grasshole."

"I dreamt that I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda... But I woke up and realized it was just a fanta sea."

"If you play the ""Strawberry Fields Forever"" record backwards, you can quietly hear your roommate saying, ""Get a job, Megan."""

"I'm just a regular guy, putting on my Capri pants 3/4 leg at a time."

"What was the buffalo's last words to his teenager as he sent him off to college? Bison"

"My grandmother used to wakeup and head for the bathroom . along the wat she would say with a raised voice 'o Jesus christ' Soon after my grandfather passed away she asked me to move the coffee table"