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Joke of the Day

"God said to John, ""Come forth and recieve eternal life."" But John came fifth, and received a toaster instead."

"Whats long and black and hard to cut into? The line at KFC"

"Presidents What's the difference between Bill Clinton and John F. Kennedy? One got his head blown off, the other was assassinated."

"You can tell a lot about a person's personality by the type of car they drive. I haven't got one."

"Goodnight moon, goodnight stars. Goodnight weird guy who walks past my house on crutches every night. Goodnight house on crutches."

"Despite my rock and roll lifestyle, I'm pretty sure I'm going to die via punctured gums from a tortilla chip."

"There are 3 kinds of people in this world Those who can count and those who can't"

"What does a drama student do while stuck in Math class? she cos(plays)"

"What was the main difference between the war in Vietnam and the war in Iraq? George Bush had a plan to get out of Vietnam."

"I sealed a fart in a jar for my wife to open because I know how to romance a lady."