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Joke of the Day

"What's the worst thing about getting bitten by a poisonous spider? You're probably Australian. EDIT: I mean venomous, not poisonous. I am sorry"

"How do you silence an Italian? Cut off his hands"

"I did a striptease for my wife but it didn't go well. I got my shirt stuck on my head, and by the time I got it off, she had left the room."

"Why are there no coups in the US? It is the only country without a US embassy. (heard from a Brazilian friend)"

"Shout out to authentic Indian restaurants that encourage eating using only the hands. They don't give a fork."

"What's the difference between your job and a dead hooker? Your job still sucks"

"Sex so good you see dead people."

"What only lasts 40 seconds for men and leaves them hot and sweaty? A bowl of Ramen Noodles"

"What part of ""No"" don't you understand? Probably the whole thing I'm guessing. It's a pretty short word. What? You're a squirrel? Sorry"

"What's the difference between a feminist and a knife? The knife has a point. P.s: please don't kill me feminists, it's just a joke"