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Joke of the Day

"911 OPERATOR (female): What's your emergency GUY (being murdered): Haha nothing what are you up to"

"Want to hear a joke about my penis? Ahh forget it.. it it's too long. Woman replies: want to hear a joke about my vagina? Ahh never mind... you'll never get it."

"If you get a divorce in Arkansas... ... is she still your sister?"

"Yes I will purchase the anti-ageing cream that costs 100's of dollars because the results on those 20 year old models is just miraculous."

"Did you ever notice how men always leave the toilet seat up? THAT'S THE JOKE."

"Why was the driver fired from the destruction derby? He was accused of wreckless driving."

"Why does time go by so fast in Italy? Because every time you turn around you see a dago by."

"You know it's good sex when the neighbors call the police and a priest."

"Parallel lines have so much in common... It's a shame they'll never meet."

"Belgium is a leading producer of beer, chocolate, and weapons. I picture a country full of very well-armed fat people. Another one, I mean."