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Joke of the Day

"Parallel lines have so much in common... It's a shame they'll never meet."

"Why is Bernie Sanders seems like having a long nose? because AIR IS FREE"

"What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? When you slap the mosquito it stops sucking."

"Why is Italy's birth rate decreasing? Because they pull out at the last second."

"A man enters his house with a duck under his arm and says ""See, this is the pig I've been screwing"". ""What do you mean? That's not a pig."" his wife replies. ""I wasn't talking to you""."

"The legal age of drinking in Alabama has been changed to 31... Representatives hope that it will keep underage drinking out of high schools"

"What did the hungry computer programmer say? All I want is one byte. Hell, I'll even take a nibble."

"Me: ""What's the haps, yo?"" 19yo niece: ... Me: ... 19yo niece: ... Me: ""I'm sorry."""

"I can't define ""pattern matching"" ...but I know it when I see it."

"I haven't talked to my wife for 18 months I don't like to interrupt her."