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Joke of the Day

"My favorite sex position is the JFK It's when I splat all over her while she screams and tries to get out of the car"

"What should you do if a bird poos on your car? Don't ask her out again"

"My therapist told me ""time heals all wounds"", So I stabbed him. Now we wait..."

"[6:00pm] i will not snack tonight i will not snack tonight i will not snack tonight [11:00pm] yay i did it! [11:01pm] *preheats oven*"

"Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? It was okay, but had no atmosphere."

"What does a bully say to someone with severe depression? Stop hating yourself, stop hating yourself!"

"Did you hear about the little skunk who got lost in the woods? He called home on his smell phone."

"What's the difference between Niagara and Viagra? Niagara falls."

"Why did the cellphone go to court? Because it was charged with battery. Thank you, I'll be here all night... Finals week needs to end."

"So a priest, a pedophile and rapist walk into a bar ...he orders a drink"