202904

Joke of the Day

"What does a bully say to someone with severe depression? Stop hating yourself, stop hating yourself!"

"A friend of ours is practicing baking apple pies. She brings them over to our house and later asks us how we liked it. I tell her ""You need more practice."""

"*gently carrying a burrito in my mouth like a mother cat with her kitten*"

"Why do receipts need to be 75 feet long? I reach into my pocket thinking I have a wad of cash, turns out I just bought a soda earlier."

"I set up a trap to catch the tooth fairy but she caught on and placed my parents in the trap instead. what a tricky fairy. PS. i want my $1!"

"Water evaporates, condenses, precipitates, and evaporates again. It's a viscous cycle."

"A neutron walks into a bar and asks the barman ""hey how much for a drink?"" The barman replies ""For you, no charge"" Bazinga!"

"At the doctor's... - Sir, you need to stop masturbating. - Why, doc? - So I can start examining you!"

"""Have you tried turning her off and then on again?"" -- Sexual Tech Support"

"My girlfriend asked if she would be able to make a living by being a stripper... I told her it was probably a bit too risque."