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Joke of the Day

"Woman walks around claiming to be a flute. Says that you can blow in her hole and press her buttons for $50!"

"Knuckle Tats (I) (H)(A)(V)(E) (W)(A)(Y) (T)(O)(O) (M)(A)(N)(Y) (F)(I)(N)(G)(E)(R)(S)"

"""Grampa, how did you support gay marriage? Did you march like civil rights ppl?"" ""No. Marching's hard. I tweeted about it."""

"I now have a black girlfriend I severely burnt my hand on the stove"

"All these fireworks and still my girlfriend has the shortest fuse."

"""Condoms, please."" ""Do you need a bag for that?"" ""No, she's not that ugly."""

"[astronaut test] Before you begin, questions? [hand raised] ""Is it true the moon is cheese?"" Are you that damn mouse again? [mouse runs out]"

"Divorce Mickey - I want a divorce Minnie - Are you fucking crazy? Mickey - No.. I'm fucking Daisy!"

"What did the constipated mathematician do? He sat down and worked it out with a pencil."

"So my doctor told me I need to stop eating so much... But I don't think I can just quit eating cold turkey."