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Joke of the Day

"""If anyone has any reason Kim & Kanye should not be married, speak now or forever hold your peace."" -Taylor Swift's moment of revenge"

"Knock knock, Who's there? Not Oscar Pistorius."

"What a lovely surprise to finally discover how unlonely being alone can be."

"I read a Braille spy novel today that made me extremely paranoid... It was like something just didn't feel right."

"If I could make the ultimate scary animal, I'd make it hybrid with the head of a bear, bear claws, and the body of a bear."

"Before i was born, i was given two choices 1. Have a large penis but suffer from memory loss. 2. Have a tiny penis but be very smart and remember everything. I do not remember which option i took."

"Two guys walked into a bar... The other guy ducked."

"Ah, spring is here. Time to open the windows and remind my neighbors that I know every word to the ""Grease"" soundtrack."

"The Chinese New Year is almost here. I know they're in another time zone, but 2 months behind seems a little extreme."

"If Kevin Spacey doesn't sign his name like this Kevin E Then he's pretty damn stupid..."