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Joke of the Day

"Build a man a fire and he will be warm for an hour... ...But set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life."

"Why were the people in the Twin Towers disappointed on 9/11? They ordered 2 pepperoni pizzas, but all they got were 2 large plains."

"What do you call a cross between a hippo, an elephant and a rhino? Hell if I know"

"Q: What is the smartest thing that can come out of a blonde's mouth? A: Einstein's dick."

"""Ok, I know this is creepy af but check this out.."" -first taxidermist"

"[Ventriloquist Mafia] ""Oh we have ways of making people talk."""

"And the he told me he was kilt shopping. So, apparently I'm married to Braveheart."

"In a village full of hipsters no one ever lied. Because hips don't lie."

"I love kids. When they're adults."

"My sense of humor is so dark... ... one of these days it's going to get shot by the police."