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Joke of the Day

"Everyone has that friend that needs to stop bumming and buy their own pack of cigarettes."

"Boss: This is the third time you've been late for work this week. Do you know what that means? Me: That it's only Wednesday"

"What do you call someone pretending to nice to people just to get upvotes? karma chameleon"

"i before e except after c Great, now how am I supposed to spell ""ice"" again?"

"On her deathbed my wife said, ""Sweety, I will see you in Heaven."" Since then I have kicked a puppy, stole from 4 shops and set fire to an orphanage.!"

"BREAKING NEWS: 23 injured while running with bulls. Authorities say injuries happened because folks were stupid enough to run... with bulls."

"I asked my math teacher if he wanted to rent an apartment with me Then he went on some tangent about needing a co-sign."

"I drove home with a new bunny for my kids & all they did was moan. ""Why hasn't it got a head?"" ""I don't want to scrape it off the wheel."""

"There are three people with four cigarettes on a boat. None of them have a lighter or matches. What do they do? Throw a cigarette over-board so the entire boat becomes a cigarette lighter!"

"Soviet Russia In Soviet Russia, Turkey shoots you!"