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Joke of the Day
"Everyone has that friend that needs to stop bumming and buy their own pack of cigarettes."
Next Joke
"How many 9GAGers does it take to change a lightbulb? Exactly the same amount as the Redditors on /r/AdviceAnimals and /r/fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu ."
"Why is it prestigious to wear a condom? It's a members-only jacket."
"You know, they said it would take a few years for my medical practice to get off the ground... But I just don't have the patients."
"What's the difference between E.T. and a Mexican? E.T. learned English and wanted to go home."
"Are you having trouble finding your kids' name's on bottles of Coca Cola? Then I bet you wish you'd given them proper names instead of thinking you were clever by calling them Lake and Destiny."
"you know what people said about paul daniels funeral..... you know what people said about paul daniels funeral ""i liked it but not a lot"""
"Everybody made fun of how I lost a race to the fat kid in school. If only my wheelchair was faster."
"What would it take to reunite the Beatles? Two more bullets."
"What is smarter? What is smarter, longitude or latitude?...Longitude, because it has 360 degrees."