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Joke of the Day

"What do you call someone pretending to nice to people just to get upvotes? karma chameleon"

"Cop: What's the hurry? Me: Nothing officer - Just didn't want to slow you down. Cop: I was pulling you over. Me: Well I get that. Now."

"""I'm half black and I'm trying to decide who I want to have kids with. Do I want them to have every advantage in life, or be able to dance?"""

"Using a public restroom always reminds me how much better I am at flushing a toilet than a lot of other people."

"What do you call a chicken that's looking at a cabbage? Chicken sees a salad."

"Seagull joke Q: What do you call a seagull that knows martial arts? A: Steven Seagull"

"Google search history: -double chin reduction exercises -double chin plastic surgery cost -double fudge brownie recipe"

"you're honor, my client- hold on.. *long recess w/ client* ok my really high client wants to know if he can eat his Cheetos during the trial"

"What happened to the cannibal lion? He had to swallow his pride."

"Two sausages sitting in a frying pan... 1st sausage turns to the 2nd sausage and says, ""is it me? Or is it really hot in here? "" 2nd sausage says, ""HOLY SHIT! A talking sausage..."""