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Joke of the Day

"What would Bill Cosby's name be if he was Russian? Vladimir Puddin'"

"what type of music does a balloon hate? Pop music"

"I'm getting a restraining order against my debt collectors. As much as they call me it's really just starting to come across as desperate"

"How has Gordon Ramsey come to have so many children?? FUCKING RAAAWWWW!!"

"I went to a pet shop to buy a goldfish today... The worker asked if I'd like an aquarium, but I told him ""I don't care what starsign it is."""

"What did the rock say when he went metamorphic? ""Holy schist."""

"The Catholic Church is selling bath bombs! *puts Jesus Christ limited edition bath bomb into water* *water turns into wine* Thank u Jesus"

"Heisenberg's wife was unhappy... because when he had the time, he didn't have the energy, and when he had the position, he didn't have the momentum. Credit to Greg and/or Terry from American Dad."

"*brings whipped cream to bed* Husband: Ohh, are we trying something new? Me: Will you hold this pumpkin pie while I get comfortable?"

"What's the worst thing to hear during a prostate exam? Look! No hands!"