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Joke of the Day

"My kids had head lice once so please don't tell me about your home invasion..."

"Why do New Yorkers like to visit Minnesota? Because that's where the mini apple is!"

"when it comes to birth control, an ounce of prevention is worth about 6 and a half pounds of cure This should be here instead of r/funny"

"I dreamt I was being chased by a bizarre sentence with two poorly distinguished clauses. So I made a mad dash for it."

"A guy came to me at the bar the other day and said ""Hey bartender, I don't have much money so give me a cheap shot!"" . . I told him ""your mom is ugly and your breathe stinks"""

"Q: What is the difference between Bill Clinton and Elvis? A: Elvis was drafted and served proudly in the Army."

"I just sat through two hours of Jersey Shore. Apparently the stupid I was born with wasn't stupid enough."

"A Brit, a Jew and a Canadian. So a Brit, a Jew and a Canadian are sitting in bar. The jew lifts his head from his drink and says, ""I just don't know anymore, does america got talent?"""

"A bicycle cannot stand alone; it's two tired!"

"""Let me ax you something."" - a very generous lumberjack and you're a racist."